Saturday, March 10, 2012

Wonderful Definitions


Wonderful Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. 


Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all  your life so that you can die Rich. 


Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. 

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine   waterpower. 

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of  the students without passing through "the         minds of either" 

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the   biggest piece. 

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody  disagrees later on. 

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classics: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 


Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths. 


Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing  individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

^^ ^^ ^^

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