Thirty things to Stop Doing to Yourself

  

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  However, before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Stop spending time with the wrong people. –Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they will make room for you.  You should not have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  In addition, remember, it is not the people that stand by your side when you are at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you are at your worst that are your true friends.

• Stop running from your problems. –Face them head on.  No, it will not be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at him or her.  We are not supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That is not how we are made.  In fact, we are made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that is the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

• Stop lying to yourself. –You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you cannot lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

• Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
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• Stop trying to be someone you are not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Do not change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

• Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

• Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

• Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  However, you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Everything that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

• Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  However, the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are very free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

• Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you are not happy with who you are on the inside, you will not be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

• Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you will create a problem that was not even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You cannot make it to second base with your foot on first.

• Stop thinking you are not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we will not feel very comfortable at first.

• Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It is better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There is no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you are ready, not when you are lonely.

• Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones did not work. – In life you will realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  However, most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

• Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

• Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

• Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  However, reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You will often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

• Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate you!  In addition, remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it is for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

• Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

• Stop wasting time explaining you to others. – Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

• Stop doing the same things repeatedly without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you do not have time for it.  If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

• Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

• Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world does not reward perfectionists; it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.

• Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Do not take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

• Stop acting like everything is fine if it is not. – It is okay to fall apart for a little while.  You do not always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You should not be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it is healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

• Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you are going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

• Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burns you out.  However, making one-person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

• Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask you this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it is not worth worrying about.

• Stop focusing on what you do not want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you will often find that you are right.

• Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for his or hers.  Instead of thinking about what you are missing, try thinking about what you that has everyone else is missing.

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